Monday, June 22, 2020

My Perspective on the Current State of Reality

Post Warning - this isn't all fluff and stuff and happy life business today.  I'm gonna unload some shit and talk about reality for a bit.  This is also where I should insert the profanity warning.  I'm gonna talk about all the things that "I'm not supposed to talk about."  

Right now in this country, we're fighting about syrup branding, allowing rioting to destroy businesses and communities, permitting criminals to take over police precincts and city blocks, all while allowing the city, state, and federal government dictate to the law-abiding citizens about wearing masks and staying home and not gathering in large groups.

In the past few weeks, the society we see in the media has painted a clear picture that if you're like me you need to "educate yourself" or sit down and shut up.  As a white, straight, married, conservative, and law-abiding citizen, the message I'm getting is that "I am wrong and that my voice shouldn't be heard."  The picture that's painted assumes that because I'm all those things that I can't possibly think police brutality is wrong and that racism is wrong. I'm not supposed to say things like all lives matter.  I've seen things that tell me this isn't a "black vs white thing, it's everyone vs racism".  Well if that's the case then let me tell you a couple of stories.

When I was in my 20's I was followed and pulled over twice by the same cop for picking up drunk friends after closing time at a bar.  My friends did the right thing, called for a ride.  The first time I was pulled over, asked to step out of the car, and then asked to do roadside Olympics because I was "suspicious for leaving a bar past closing time."  Because I was taught to respect law enforcement I complied with the requests.  The second time I was pulled over for "suspicious driving in a neighborhood".  Anyone who has tried to take direction from a drunk to get them home knows what this looks like.  This was the second time I was pulled over by this cop, no roadside Olympics were necessary, probably because it was clear both my passengers were very inebriated and I was not.   I learned years later that I was not the only blonde, blue-eyed female this happened to with this same cop.  No, I wasn't beat up and there wasn't brutality involved, but to this day I think how very glad there was a car full of drunks with me both times.  I heard later, this officer was removed from the force for his conduct with women.  

While we lived in Texas I got a good long look at what racism is.  I have always based my opinion of people on the individual person and their character, not their race, education, or any other label.  My eyes were ripped open to the fact that not everyone does the same.  In Texas, I was treated as an outsider because I was white.  I was told at one point if I was going to live and work there I needed to learn the language.  I didn't, and still don't, speak Spanish. I sat in a teller row where everyone around me was bilingual, and they spoke in Spanish because "it was just habit" for them.  That was by far the most hateful work environment I have ever worked in, but I'm not supposed to talk about that because it labels me as the one in the wrong.  It labels me as the "white privileged racist".  

I also think the double standard that the government is allowing right now is wrong.  Rioting, protesting, etc. is going against all of the mandates that are or were in place, depending on where you live, yet nothing is being done.  When all of the social distancing started things like this were happening - Father arrested for playing ball with his daughter in the park because they didn't follow social distancing rules.  The gates of a playground in Brooklyn were welded shut to keep people out during the pandemic.  There was even a man pulled off a bus for not wearing a mask.

Now fast forward to the beginning of the protesting and riots.  It's suddenly okay for massive groups of people to protest, peacefully or otherwise.  It's suddenly okay for anarchists to take over a police precinct and six city blocks in Seattle.  Yes, I've seen some protestors are wearing masks, but let's talk about the large groups.  Oh, it's okay, because it's for a good cause.  

Yet, for those of us who are law-abiding citizens, we're still being told to wear a fucking mask in public and not to gather in large groups.  We're told that we need proof of a negative test if we're going to fly into Alaska from the "outside" or we need to quarantine for 14days.  We're told that we have to wear a mask now if we want to fly, which also in the case of many airline flights will no longer include food and drink service.  We're being told how schools reopening in the fall may look different.  Then there's my personal favorite, the NFL season may not happen.  Now I could give a rats ass less about the damn football season, but the point here is that as a law-abiding citizen we "must" comply with all of this dog and pony show, and yet there are massive groups of rioters not following all of the ridiculous mandates and nothing has been done to enforce the "rules".

Pardon me while I refuse to live with a mask on my face and put up with the horse shit that is being called a "movement."  If you want change then you should stand up for it, but stop holding up the lowest common denominator as a saint.  Some of these "lives that matter" had a rap sheet longer than a five-year-old's Christmas wish list.  You want change, stop putting all the cops in one bag with the white guys that are terrible cops.  This isn't about race, this is about BAD PEOPLE and BAD PEOPLE will exist no matter how "equal" or "fair" you try to make the world.

I'm not going to apologize for being white, any more than you should apologize for being whatever color your skin is.  I never owned slaves, my family never owned slaves, I'm not apologizing for slavery.  Stop trying to make every conservative person in America the problem. Start talking about what really is the problem - HATE.

We went to "town" this past weekend and I encounter something that really made my skin crawl.  In a crowded aisle at a grocery store, there was a cart and a woman blocking any way through.  I said excuse me to the woman and she shot me the dirtiest look and walked away from both the cart and what she was looking at.  Unbeknownst to me, the cart was not hers and actually belonged to two young ladies that I had passed on my way down the aisle.  The young ladies apologized to both me and the other lady, but the other lady was having none of it and she completely left the aisle.  After the white woman, who was white, walked away from me with the nasty hateful look I realized she was quite possibly pissed because I didn't ask the two girls of another race to move.  I tell this story because the hate runs deep in some people and there is no way to change it, they hate and that's what they do.  

We had some less involved hate thrown our way in other stores for not wearing masks.  We didn't wear masks in any of the places we solicited.  We also voted with our dollars and didn't solicit places that were requiring a mask to enter.  I'm not going to spend the rest of my life wear a mask, recirculating my own germs just to make someone else feel safe.  The cat is out of the bag, face masks won't help you avoid getting sick.  If wearing a mask makes you feel more comfortable, then by all means, but keep your hate to yourself when you see me not wearing one.  

I realize this piece is a bit all over the place, but I honestly couldn't stay silent anymore.  Share the post, love me, unfollow me, hate me, do whatever it is that will make you feel better, but as a conservative, I'm not going to just keep listening and not share my own experiences and feelings.  Furthermore, this is my platform and my space for my voice, discussion on different points of view are welcome, but rude and hateful comments will be removed. 

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