The Porch Postscript

WARNING:  This could offend those that love living here. We've lived here just over six years.  Do I love it here?  Nope.  Will I ever?  Nope.  Let me clarify, I don't hate it here, but I'm not staying for life.  I know there are millions of people watching reality tv shows, itching to live the "Alaskan Dream", but let me tell you there is a HUGE difference between dreaming about living it and actually doing it. Since we've been here we've seen a lot of people move in and move out, less than a year later.  People up here tell stories about newcomers and those that can't hack it here.  There's the guy who sold his motorcycle because he heard there were no roads in the Interior.  There's the one about the couple who didn't realize it got so dark for so long here in the winter.  There's the wife that wouldn't move here because it's too far to do any "real" shopping.  And there's a zillion stories about the people ...

What exactly does that look like?  I'll be honest, I don't know.  For now possibly just more posting here.  Perhaps writing something to submit somewhere later on.  Feasibly some more short essay-style pieces.  If I'm truly honest, I don't know how long this desire will last. I've craved and reveled in writing since I was young.  I wrote stories on my electric typewriter in Junior High.  Later in High School, I took both a short story and a poetry class, neither of which ended up being what I imagined they would be.  I've submitted a few pieces to short story contests, but that never went anywhere.  Looking back, I'm sure it was because I was writing high school quality work to send into a magazine with adults submitting a much higher level of work to the same competitions. Later in my adult life, when we lived in Missouri, I was part of a writing group for a very short amount of time.  Just as I was starting to get back into writing...

Let's get one thing out in the open, right up front.  I have four children.  No, I did not give birth to them.  No, they are not human.  They are children none the less. We currently have four girls, two dogs and two cats.  We talk to them like they are human and treat them better than some people treat children.  The sleep in our bed, they get on the couch, they make us crazy.  We buy them treats, toys and even clothing when needed.  I worry about them as if they are children when we leave them with a sitter for the weekend. Our youngest has bad manners and is headstrong.  She loves to "taste" everyone who comes to the door.  No biting, just a bit of doggie mouthing and gumming.  She gets very excited when people come and she loves to talk.  She's the Houdini of the group.  Can get out of most anything that she finds confining.  She loves treats, being free and sleeps on her back under our bed at night.  Hed...

...and they lived happily ever after.  Okay, but what did that really look like?  The boy gets the girl and they ride off into the sunset, but then what?  No one ever tells you what a truly happy marriage is about.  It's not about the end of the love story in a movie, it's about all the stuff that happens after that sunset.  It's about... Repeating favorite one-liners from movies and songs, all the time. Doing the laundry and never folding it. Cooking, hopefully together like we do in our house.  Cleaning the kitchen and taking out the trash.  Talking about mundane things from your day.  Funny pet names.  Silly grade school humor, including fart jokes.  Riding in the car and not talking for miles. Being comfortable in silence together.  Having someone to travel with.  Adjusting bra straps and sinching up suspenders.  Accepting the cl...

It's really simply amazing the thoughts people think about women who don't have children.  It's also simply amazing how rude other women are about the whole concept.  Now that I'm 40 no one is asking me about having kids anymore, thank heavens, but when I got married at the age of 29 that was a hot topic of conversation.  I used to come home from work at least a few times a week and complain about the constant topic of children.  My husband always said it had to be a female thing. Let's face it, men don't go through the barrage of questions women do.  It all starts with "why don't you have a boyfriend", then you get a boyfriend.  Next, they ask "is there's a wedding in the future", you become engaged.  Next, come the questions about a date for the "big day", finally a date is set and you tie the knot.  Questions don't stop there, they always move on the badgering you about when are you planning to start a family, to ...

What if I wrote what I really thought?  No really.  What if I actually wrote all the things I think.  All the raw uncensored emotions that run around in my head.  Would you read or would you be a troll telling me how stupid I sound? I'm always full of questions and unrequested advice.  Sarcasm and words often flow out of my mouth without much thought.  I talk too much, which magnifies when I'm wound up in anger, frustration or on the edge o tears.  I'm jampacked with opinions that are mostly unwarranted and judgments no one is ever seeking.  I come off sharp and even mean at times without really meaning too.  I've been told my whole life that I'm loud and bossy. Again I ask, would you read it if it wasn't censored? I have the vocabulary of a well-educated sailor.  I make my Marine husband proud because I have a mouth that would make a church lady blush and a Marine welcome me to the chow hall.  I don't have a colle...

Are new habits that hard to build or are the old ones just too hard to break?  Think about that a minute. Sip your coffee or tea and we'll come back to that in a minute.  I recently turned 40 and started thinking about a lot of things, especially my habits and that very notion popped into my head. We all have habits, good ones, bad ones, big ones, small ones.  Some of us are creatures of habit, some of us don't even realize we have habits.  We even refer to some of our habits as routines.  I think everyone is trying to change their bad habits and build good ones.  Often we let society dictate what our good habits and bad habits should be. I'm totally a creature of habit or routine as it may be.  I like to get up and enjoy my first cup of coffee before I really engage in too much conversation.  I like to be awake for a while before I eat breakfast.  I want a shower, every morning.  As of late, I've made morning Yoga part o...

Source - Pinterest Friendships are such a unique dynamic thing.  They come in all phases of our lives, are constantly evolving, ever growing and sometimes only last for a season.  At a certain point in your life, much like romance, age won't matter. I have friends that are 20 plus years older than me that I just click with.  Many of these are friendships that happened in unlikely ways but have bloomed into friendships I treasure dearly.  These are the friends that have no inhibitions and are totally the people I discuss those things no one else thinks is dinner conversations. Then there are the friends that are more than 20 years younger than me.  Several of these friendships started out almost in a mentorship way and with time grew into friendship built on common interests.  They're the friends that keep my heart young and challenge me to look at the world in new ways, the friends I push to be strong and grow their dreams.  Friends that...

What is sexy? Does that question conjure up images of thin, well toned, barely clad women?  That's what society has influenced us to think and to believe, but what is it really?  We're lead to believe that it's about how we look.  I asked if I was sexy and I was told yes.  I asked what made me sexy and the list he gave included things I never thought about.  Things that are who I am, not how I look.  Then he asked, "don't you understand that?"  I had to answer no.  I'd never thought about or considered what makes someone sexy is their mind, their heart, the kind things they do.  I'd been drinking the stereotypical cool-aid of the media, thinking that sexy was about being thin, having long hair and big boobs.  Go ahead and laugh, but the next time you're standing in a grocery store checkout line look at the magazines and tell me that's what sexy is portrayed as. I've struggled with my body image for years, and while I think I...

That's me, and extroverted introvert.  Left in the wild I will seek out one-on-one conversations, avoid large groups and get hives at a sign of a big crowd.  I will avoid public speaking at all costs. The flip side of that coin is I have a job that is very public and very much a people-oriented game.  I get hurled into large groups of strangers and which often leads to the public speaking opportunities I loathe.  I'm a program cordinator...I've got no choice.  It just comes with the territory. I'm loud and often funny, maybe even a bit quirky.  Most people mistake me for an extrovert that loves the wild world of entertaining.  I'm a good jokester in the right company and I enjoy a good round of teasing.  Left to my own devices though, I'll choose to alone.   I often decline party invites, especially if it's a party where I know very few people. The other part of my personality that is often misunderstood and misjudged is the public wi...

How much of your life is based on someone else's perception of you?  No really, think about that a minute.  Home much of what you do and how you act is based on the thoughts you perceive others to have about you?  Go ahead, mull that over.  I'll wait. Are you a little shell-shocked?  It really does put a little perspective into your life when you think about it and actually, consider some of the more mundane things we do. Do you wear make-up?   Why?  To hide your imperfections.  To enhance your natural beauty.  To highlight you check bones.  To make your eyes pop.  I really could go on and on with all the lines we're fed in our daily lives through advertising and social media. Why do you hate your body?  You don't feel you're thin enough.  You don't feel you're swimsuit ready.  You don't feel your boobs are big enough.  You feel your butt is too (insert descriptor here).  Again, society has influence...

Excuses are like ass holes, everyone has one and they all stink.  Yep, I sure did.  I just said it.  I put it out there for everyone to know.  I have the vocabulary of a well-educated sailor, but in all seriousness is anyone ever interested in someone's excuse? When is it that we learn the behavior of blaming others for our shortcomings and failures?  No seriously.  When?  When is this taught to us?  Grade school?  Middle school?  High school?  Or do we learn it as young adults? I've learned in my nearly 40 years, that's it's just better to man up and take the blame for the misstep and move forward.  That's not to say that the perfectionist in me doesn't beat me up for a few days after the misgivings of the failure, but if everyone survives without injury it's all good.    Yes.  I am still learning to let it go, but I do accept blame for the missteps I take.   What I'm wondering is why is ...

I don't want a busy life.  I'm not interested in what's referred to as "the hustle."  I hate hearing the phrase "you know how it is." The answer is NO!  No, I don't.  I've never understood the feeling that you constantly have to be on the go and always doing.  I physically can't and mentally won't.  When life gets too busy I reach a saturation point and will withdrawal from everything!  I become angry and less tolerant of people, noise, and places.  Busy isn't good for me and what's more is I find it maddening when I ask someone how they are and I get the pat answer "busy" or my other favorite "crazy busy."  Either of which is followed by "you know how it is."  No.  I don't.  I've made the choice not to live like that. To be quite honest, when you tell me about your "saturated" or "busy" life, it all sounds like complaining.  It sounds like you're letting your lif...

January is drawing to a close, and I'm reflecting.  Reflecting on the direction I'd like to take all three of my blogs.  Reflecting on where I want to take my creativity.  Reflecting on my journaling journey. Three blogs, it's a lot, but it is what it is.  I needed separation with this new blogging journey.  In the past, it was all dumped in one place and in the end, it just didn't work.   Here on The Porch Postscript , I've built a place for me to purge random thoughts and ideas about my life.  Things will wax and wane here, some spurts being longer than others.  You might also notice there are times of crickets here.  Not all my thoughts need to be public.  Trust me! Stacy Petersen Photography is just what it says it is.  It's my photography portfolio.  The words are limited here.  I share photo title and the place and date taken.  I haven't put anything new up in a while, but I'll get back to...

I don't think people realize how healing creativity is.  No.  Really.  I've been creative my whole life and as I have gotten older and struggled through rough spots in life I've realized that my art and creativity help me get through those bumps in life.  It rebuilds my momentum and fills up the spots in my soul that stress and daily life drain out and empty. I've spent the quite a bit of time in my studio creating and working on new cards, the last few days.  Trying new techniques and looking for myself in the lost chaos of the daily grind.  While I have a day job that I love, but it's taxing on my mind and sometimes my emotions, often times stressful.  Being creative helps refill all those places.  It gives me time to let my mind wander and be free.   Right now I'm focused on exploring mixed media and learning new techniques to stash in my mental closet of card making skills.  This is where you picture that hall cl...

Are you ready for another round from the well of my deep thoughts?  Yes?  Well ready or not, here we go, down the rabbit hole of Stacy's wandering mind. The past couple of days I've really begun to wonder where have all the manners gone?  No.  Seriously.  Do you know?  When did we become such a rude, self-obsessed, self-serving bunch of knotheads? In the past few days, as in since Monday, I've been called names, hung up on, and yelled at for things I can't and don't control.  I've had people just walk in and interrupt meetings, without even a blink or apology for the interruption.  Again I ask when did we become so rude? When did it become acceptable to talk on the phone while mailing a package, ordering food or doing business at the bank?  When did it become acceptable to talk back to the customer in a demeaning tone?  When did rudeness become the norm? I was taught - You give the janitor the same respect as the president...

Are you a societal failure?  WOW!  Did I just opened a big can of worms, didn't I?  Yep.  Get your coffee and let's talk about this. I'm a societal failure!  I don't fit the mold on so many levels.  What's more, I'm proud of it!  How have I failed in the eyes of society?  I don't have a degree, I got married later, I don't have kids and I'm an artist. Let's start with NO COLLEGE DEGREE.  That's right, I don't have a degree.  What's more, I don't want one.  Now, let's put things on the table right now.  I'm not against college.  I work with college-bound students five days a week.  However, college isn't for everyone and it shouldn't be forced on anyone, let alone someone who is still trying to figure out what they're interests are. We start asking children what they want to be when they grow up once they're  old enough to talk.  They tout things that don't always fit in the box society has built...

Good Morning.  Have you started to settle back into your daily routines?  Or are you still sorting it all out? I'm happily getting back into my everyday groove.  Loved being on vacation and celebrating the holidays, but I'm a creature of habit.  Having a routine helps me stay grounded.  There's a quote I pulled out of something I read a while back that is so very fitting of my nature. Highly sensitive people, having daily rituals in their lives can help them feel at one with their world, instead of just being overwhelmed by it most of the time.   I love my mornings.  They are slow and filled with daily rituals, or habits if you will.  I read blogs, sip coffee, post on Facebook & Instagram, write, enjoy breakfast with my Hubby and work through a yoga routine.  I'm blessed with a part-time job that allows me these luxuries. This year I'm considering adding an art journal to my mornings.  I've been thinking about th...

Happy New Year!  It's time to get back to reality.  Are you ready?  I'm not sure I am, but I have to go there anyway.  Back to work, time to start the Spring Semester.  Working for an educational consortium comes with so many perks and rewards, but starting a new semester isn't one of them.  Things will be a little bit of a madhouse for the next couple of weeks, but I digress.  Today's post isn't about going back to work, and quite honestly is a little raw and may not be a read for everyone. I started my morning with this yoga video , let's just say I'm a bit off my game.  I let my daily practice laps a bit over the last three weeks.  It's time to get back to it.  Yoga has helped me in so many ways.  The movement and stretching are what it's about for me.  I don't follow a yoga practice for spiritual or meditational guidance.  This practice started as a way to heal my back, and increase movement in my very sedentary...

Good morning.  This is it, the last day of 2016.  Over the last week, I've read a lot about goal setting, resolutions, and saying goodbye to 2016. Just a few days ago I was asked about my goals for 2017.  It's always fascinating to me how so many people are always so gun-hoe about "making a fresh start" with the ringing in of the new year, then as the year goes on many of those "fresh starts" are lost along the way.  Why do you need a new year to make a "fresh start" or to set new goals?  But I digress. I confess I don't set goals and I don't make resolutions.  When I was in my 20's I used to fall victim to the resolution trap, only to fail by the end of January or at best late February.  Then I felt terrible for days and beat myself up about the failure.  Then one year I stopped.  I stopped setting myself up for the failures.  Since then I've figured out the connection between the world of goals/resolutions and me.  I feel...